The foundation of true self-care is self-compassion

I celebrate everyone’s success in my family but I dont celebrate any of my wins.

A coaching client mentioned this to me today when I asked him to celebrate a success that he achieved after receiving the coaching.

He said he doesn’t love himself and he feels he doesn’t deserve any such celebrations. On the contrary, he celebrates everyone’s else success in the family however minute it may be.

With his permission, we took a big detour today to dig deeper into this.

He actively participated in this coaching conversation to further reflect on his perspective. One of his core beliefs is constantly hurting him. He is not able to accept his growth in life. His belief is his achievements are not big enough and worthy of any celebration.
This led to a mindset that he does not need to celebrate any success that he achieves unless it is significant enough.

As a coach, I challenged him to consider the thought of a bank account analogy and compare it to his compassion mindset. If you continue to give but never replinesh it, it ultimately leads to 0 bank balance. I told him that if he doesn’t replenish it time-time then it starts to dry out. The way to replenish this is self-compassion and being kind to yourself.

This stuck the nerve with him.

He immediately started realizing the gap.

When I asked him what did you learn from this conversation, he acknowledged that if he can be compassionate with others, why shouldn’t he be compassionate with himself.

He understood that when he is not compassionate with himself, he feels incomplete.

Self-compassion is the foundation for developing a resilient self.

He agreed that this coaching conversation opened up a completely new dimension of himself.

Summary – Coaching conversations are a very powerful awareness tool for self-awareness.

When self-awareness is coupled with responsibility, it leads to self-transformation.